Building community with clients
Building community with clients
When they say sex work is work it always bugs me. I don’t like that phrase. I don’t wanna be part of some complex capitalist machine. I don’t understand the need for workers’ rights? Well if you get rid of the boss, than women can be empowered to build relationships with their clients on their own terms, then you won’t need to an established set of rules around workers’ rights. That’s how I see it anyways. Call me a old fashion “call girl!” Just a girl you can call if you feel the need. Or maybe friends with benefits. It’s capitalist distortion of all our relationships that cause the problems.
So how to do I see Sex work? I see it more as a fun relationship that has an economic component.
And these relationships vary. Some clients are like long time friends, some clients are transient, I see them once and never again, and some clients need emotional support and the relationship evolves into more of a therapist and a patient. I have experienced each variation, been in all types of roles and watched the relationship take all kinds of forms.
One of my clients is my tax guy. He does my taxes for me, another client wrote a couple articles for me, another client helped me with my website and he’s a website designer – I wish I had a client that was an auto mechanic! I wish I had another client that was a retirement specialist! I wish I had another client who had an apartment for rent. And one just for massages !
The implied contract between me and the client can also take different forms. It is not always simply a cash transaction. I sometimes get emotional support or advice from clients. This is because they come from all walks of life with their own experiences and backgrounds. The support is sometimes a two way street. I give and get advice, I give and get support. I often feel that the connection created between me and my client drives the type of relationship we create together. That is not unlike relationships we develop in other parts of our lives, be it family, friends, or romantic lovers.
Sometimes it feels more transactional, and sometimes it feels a little more romantic
This is why I don’t see Sex work as completely work anymore. I see it as a relationship and these relationships vary depending on people some clients I see every single week some clients I see once a month some clients I see ones here and some clients I see once and never see you again
I also consider myself a mirror.
I just reflect back to the client, what they need. Some clients want someone to talk to some clients don’t want to talk at all. Some want emotional support, some want a friend. Some do, just want sex. Either way, I do my best to adapt to each situation as best I can.
But sometimes my clients can mirror back to me what my needs are. I don't expect it but it’s nice when it happens.
The type of clients I’ve seen through the years run all races, ages and professions and social economic classes. I have some clients that are doctors I have had some clients that are lawyers. I’ve had clients and all kinds of occupations and I’m always fascinated by clients that have different occupations. Especially since I don’t have a professional occupation at all. It piques my curiosity to know what it is like to be a doctor, or a lawyer, a construction worker, or even be from another country. A lot of my clients are Indian, yes I am down with the brown. Engineers, or employees in big tech in Sciences. I have some clients who are college professors. Young and old divorced or married some never even kissed a girl at all. But we all need connection. Lets not let big tech wreck that but we all know they will.
I’ve had clients that have survived wars, tours of duty in Afghanistan. I’ve had clients tell me what it was like to be in a war torn country.
I love hearing my clients' stories. It gives me a little window into the world.
Victoria Woodhull, the first woman to run for president of United States in 1872 used to get stock trade tips from her clients and that’s how she made money and she ended up opening a stock-brokerage firm.
It is not just my clients’ backgrounds or experiences that affect me, some clients make me feel like I have a little team of people who are helping me and supporting me in some sort of capacity to have my knees met and I am glad I can meet there.
This is why I would love to build an app called Boston bedroom barter.
It’s my dream to start a barter app where people can trade services; need your living room painted? Can you barter for that? Need someone to wash your dog? Can we barter for this? Need someone to clean your house? Can we barter for this? Need your car fixed?
It doesn’t always have to be about money. I can be about mutual support.
Let’s bring Sex to the barter table.
This is how I think men and women were built to collaborate before money ever entered into the equation. Imagine that time before money was invented, the world survived a long time without money. During that time, men and women negotiated and cooperated together. Native American tribes did not want European money to enter there village because how it change the people in the village. For the native Americans it was like a disease of the mind.
Then, somehow the invention of money hijacked our needs.
Thinking back to years ago when I worked at this strip club we had a strict rule that we were not allowed to see customers outside of the strip club. If management found out we were friends with or hanging out with any customers we would be fired and indeed one time I did get fire
It didn't 100% stop people from seeing each other outside of work but having that threat over our heads was stressful.
Capitalism always creates a toxic middle man. Why can't they just let women men and women collaborate and create a just world together? Well then we wouldn't have the patriarchy. They want to be in the middle of everything we do. Every transaction we involve ourselves in, they want a piece of. Everything we say online must be monitored. Yuck. Is there a solution?
So I would like to research and create a barter app for men and women to get together and decide what’s fair. Men like sex, that’s cool and so do we. But we also have real world things that need to get done. So why not work it out together? Imagine, all the world's problems or at least the one hour or a little local area can be solved with cooperation and communication.
So does anybody out there? I wanna make an app?